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Living with Chronic Illness Can Be Tricky

Living with chronic illness can be tricky.

I make plans, I adjust my schedule, I ask for help and yet, sometimes, it isn’t enough.

Right now is one of those times but for a very celebratory reason.

I’ve pushing working extra hard this past month. There was the Grateful Hearts Challenge, creating the content for the Grateful Hearts Circle, the Self-Care Guide for Winter needed a full draft, I created 12 monthly printable Gratitude Journals and also combined them into one sweet yearly Gratitude journal, there was managing the Etsy shop…

It has been a joyous lot to manage, especially with the stress/distress of constant trauma triggers thanks to the explosion of culture change we’re witnessing around sexual harassment and assault. 

Then, this past Tuesday I got a call inviting me to work with a second small small faith community.

I am so excited about this new opportunity!

And understandably concerned about how I will manage the transition from working 12 hours a week to working 30 hours a week, all still Monday through Thursdays.

My husband and I have talked about nearly every night since Tuesday. I’ve spent time in mediation listening to my body, time in prayer listening to my intuition, and time in planning mode looking at my planned projects.

Something has to give in order for me to continue taking gentle, nurturing care of myself. There is the discernment that the most loving and sustainable thing I can do during this transition is to slow down in the other areas of my life, to take a pause on most of my other activities while I give my body some time to adjust to my new longer workweek.

I will not be holding the Grateful Hearts challenge as scheduled. It isn’t cancelled, and yet I have no set start date because I don’t want to run my body into the ground delivering it and I don’t want to have to under-deliver either. I’ll reschedule it for sure – the materials are there and I am still so excited to share this circle with you all! If you have signed up for the Grateful Hearts Circle, please check your Paypal – I am issuing refunds today after I finish writing this.

The Self-Care Guide for Winter will still be published on the Winter Solstice – it’s well on its way to being finished and I am committed to having a guide for each season to support your self-care practices being in alignment with the energy of the seasons.

Fall In-Love with Yourself February will still be happening too. If you’re interested in submitting a piece for 2018, please see the Submissions Guidelines.

I could say these weren’t easy decisions to make, but they actually were. I approached discerning what to put aside and what to keep up with from a space of open curiosity and trust that the right choices would be put before me. That intentional approach to this discernment practice created nothing but ease and when the answers came, they came with peace and certainty. 

Does that mean I’m not sad the Grateful Hearts Circle isn’t beginning this Saturday? No, of course not. But it does mean that I have complete peace over the decision and I am trusting it’ll happen at a future time.

Life is about being flexible, especially when living with the uncertainties that chronic illness often provides. My choices are to fight and resist and feel resentful when I have to wait or say no to something I want to do, or to embrace peace and gratitude for the things that are happening, the dreams that are coming true.

I’m choosing gratitude, while not denying my sadness. 

I’m choosing peace and grace.

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