White Privilege Means I Can Call The Cops Without Getting Shot In The Face

“Please don’t hurt me.” — Sonya Massey

A couple of years ago, I had an incident where I was home alone with our dog when she started growling. This wasn’t the growl of nonsense related to seeing a cat in the neighbor’s yard, or the growl of “get off my lawn” that she does when someone in the neighbor’s yard next door — no, this was that deep dark growl with her hackles raised way up that she only does when she is seriously convinced there is a problem.

We were in my office with the door closed when she got up from her bed and put her nose down to that small gap between the door and the floor, listening with stiff intent.

I called Luna’s name, but she ignored me and continued sniffing for a few seconds before that low, menacing growl I’ve rarely heard her feel the need to use started coming from deep in her throat.

And she continued ignoring me and growling for minutes.

This was absolutely unusual behavior from her and it began to scare the shit out of me.

My husband wasn’t due home for about an hour and all that stood between me and whatever she was growling at on the other side of that hollow core interior door was a flimsy doorknob lock that I’d already locked when she wouldn’t stop.

I thought about calling the cops and hesitated.

It’s in my hesitation that my white privilege first shines brightly because I wasn’t afraid of what the cops might do to me when they arrived, I was merely afraid of what they might say to me.

I was nervous they’d make fun of me for overreacting.

Never did it cross my mind that I needed to fear that the very people I was considering calling would be the ones to actively harm me, much less murder me in cold blood.

I was also worried about calling because the way she kept her door down to that gap and her growl continued was causing me to become concerned someone was in the house and would hear me calling.

You see, unlike when the UPS driver drops a package off on our front porch and she loses her ever-loving doggy mind barking at them as they drive away, this time all she was doing was that low, quiet growl — not one little bark at all. That was another reason I was getting so scared that someone was in the house — her behavior was just so different from anything I’d seen before or since.

Then I remembered reading that our local 911 call center was now equipped to handle text messages.

I sent the text, explaining how she was behaving and why I was concerned. An officer was immediately dispatched. I waited behind that locked door.

A few minutes later, I heard a car pull up and saw flashes of light as the officer searched around the outside of our home. A few minutes after that I heard another car pull up, a door open and close, and then heard the sound of my husband’s voice.

I went to the front door and opened it, explaining to the officer how Luna had been behaving and how she never acted that way. He told me he saw no evidence of an intruder. I asked him to please check the basement in case someone had gotten in and then shut the window behind them — he and my husband went downstairs together to check.

After he finished checking the house, he bid us both a good evening and left — that’s it.

He just said goodnight and left.

That is my white privilege in action.

Sonya Massey didn’t get a good night, she got shot in the face.

Sonya knew the potential for danger when she called. The first thing you can hear her say on the body cam footage is “Please don’t hurt me.”

It’s clear from the footage that she was struggling to track the conversation with the officers, I don’t know if she was mentally ill or ‘just’ anxious or what, but what I do know is that she wasn’t behaving in a threatening manner. She wasn’t being rude or aggressive.

And that pot of water the officer seemed convinced was a threat so severe he needed to shoot her in the face?.. He is the reason she had it in her hands in the first place — he told her to go attend to it before they continued talking so it wasn’t a fire hazard.

He told her to go pick up that pot of water and then shot her in the face for holding it.

After killing her, the officer then lies about where he was standing when he shot her. After that he goes outside and someone asks if he’s ok. He says “yeah, I’m good, this fucking bitch is crazy.”

“Please don’t hurt me.” — Sonya Massey

“Sangamon County Coroner Jim Allmon had previously disclosed initial findings on Massey’s July 6 death in Springfield and the full autopsy report released Friday confirmed those conclusions, including that her death was a homicide.

Grayson, who is white, has pleaded not guilty to first-degree murder, aggravated battery with a firearm and official misconduct charges in Massey’s killing. He was fired last week by the Sangamon County Sheriff’s Office and has been jailed without bond.

Crump, at his third news conference this week since the body camera video was released Monday, used an enlarged diagram from the autopsy that showed the bullet exited on her lower neck in a downward trajectory. That, he said, emphasizes the physical mismatch between Massey and the much larger Grayson, who fired on her because he said he felt threatened by a pan of hot water she was moving from her stove.”apnews.com

Below is the full body cam footage I found on YouTube. Please know it is hard to watch, but for us living within the privilege of white skin, it needs to be watched. Here is a link to the body cam footage.

Thank you for reading,

Kat